Hopelessness

ShittyWomen_Hopelessness

There are 1,375 words beyond this point. This blog will take the average adult reader about 5 minutes to read. 

It’s been a while.

I keep telling myself that I need to write. For those of you who write, you might be familiar with the nagging feeling of incompleteness that seeps in when you fail to write for a prolonged time. I’ve been sitting in that since October.

I never mean to stop—but this blog requires a lot of emotional capital from me, and I simply haven’t had it. I have had neither the strength nor the courage to show you my wounds, and work through them publicly with you.  Continue reading

Not Good Enough

ShittyWomen_Not-Good-Enough

There are 1,257 words beyond this point. This blog will take the average adult reader approximately 4.5 minutes to read. You might be able to consider this something of a part 2 to “Unwanted” (and other lies I believe)

I have had a serious case of writers’ block for about two months now. Generally, when this happens, it’s because there is something I need to write that I’m not writing. It is called writers’ block for a reason—there is literally an obstacle, a blockage, in the outward flow of words. A few nights ago, I was confronted with my obstacle.

I do not want to write this. But I also know I will not be able to continue if I don’t. This blog feels scattered to me—I am not sorry. I am still scattered.

It’s been a while since I’ve done this, but before I begin, I want to invite you to shut up. Read. Sit with me in this. I don’t want your platitudes or condolences or comforts, no matter now well-meaning they may be. Sit with me—in silence—observe how your own soul identifies with mine—receive this. Trust that the Holy Spirit is a sufficient comforter for me—and for you.  Continue reading

You’d be pretty if you weren’t fat.

ShittyWomen_Pretty

There are about 1,160 words beyond this point. This blog will take the average adult about four minutes to read. 

“You’d be a really pretty girl if you just lost a few pounds.”

I’ve heard this countless times in my life. It happened most when I was a cashier at a grocery store. It happens from time to time when I’m just being overweight in public view. It still happens—and I’ve lost more than a few pounds, but am still certainly overweight. I wrote about this in more detail in The way we talk about overweightness needs to change. Continue reading

Pottymouth.

ShittyWomen_Pottymouth

There are approximately 1,980 words after this. This blog will take the average adult reader between 6–7 minutes to read. 

I knew when I bought the domain “shittywomen.com” that it would be a turnoff for some. I knew when I dropped the eff bomb for the first time on my blog that some people would not be happy.

I knew these things before a barrage of readers let me know that they couldn’t take me seriously because of the language I use. I knew these things before I got messages and comments questioning whether I was a Christian or not “because she uses profanity” I get at least one message/comment/complaint on every blog I publish with the word “fuck” in it about my use of language. I knew that some good Christians would struggle with my use of certain words. I knew they’d bring up Colossians 3:8 and Luke 6:45.

I want to address my use of language in hopes that if people understand where I’m coming from, and the why, they might be less offended. Maybe not. Probably not. After I’ve explained myself, if you’re still offended, might I suggest not following/reading my blog—if you think it’s sin, stop consuming it.

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The Billy Graham Rule

ShittyWomen_BillyGrahamRule

This blog has roughly 1,900 words past this point. It’s a bit long. I didn’t edit well. It has stories. It’ll take the average adult reader 6 and a half minutes to read. 

Context: I am writing this, immediately after doing something I rarely do—I deleted a Facebook post. Specifically, I deleted this one:

Billy Graham Rule

I did not delete it because I do not stand behind my intended sentiment. I deleted it because it became evident through comments that I needed to put some flesh on the skeleton that I just hung out in the open air. I deleted it because my own intention for the post was hijacked and I saw rapidly growing destructive potential. It is a well-known hazard of putting thoughts out onto the internet.  Continue reading

Purity Culture is Bullshit

shittywomen_purityculture

There are 1511 words beyond this point. This blog will take the average adult reader about 5.5 minutes to read. 

Valentine’s Day passed not too long ago. Some people like to celebrate it for the day of love it’s supposed to be. Some people make snarky remarks about S.A.D. (Singles Awareness Day) that drip with cynicism and bitterness. (Some of my unholy strengths include cynicism and bitterness, too.) Some people skip Valentine’s Day, and go straight to half-priced-candy day on February 15.

And then, in Christendom, some people celebrate “Purity Day”. It was hugely popular when I was at Liberty University. An army of young  (single) Christians would get together and wear white shirts to symbolize their commitment to purity before marriage. By “purity” I’m fairly certain they meant “no involvement with another person’s genitals” before marriage—or for those who’d already been involved with another person’s genitals, “no more involvement with another person’s genitals”.

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Christian. Woman. Single.

ShittyWomen_SingleWomen.jpg

This blog will take the average adult reader five minutes to read. 

I am thirty-one.

For the entirety of my thirty-one years I have been woman. For the entirety of my thirty-one years, I have been going to Christian churches. For the entirety of my thirty-one years, I have been single.

This specific blog post is geared toward single Christian women—whether you fit those descriptors or not, you’re welcome here—but I’m going to be writing under the auspice that my primary audience is women who are single and are Christian. Please forgive my Christianese, at times—and if you choose to keep reading, and want any explanations/translations, please let me know. 

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Obesity & Sin

shittywomen_obesityandsin

There are 1,585 words beyond this. It will take the average adult reader approximately six minutes to read. 

I do not believe being overweight is sinful. As an overweight female Christian, however, I can tell you three specific things about my own personal obesity:

  • It was and is, in part, caused by medical issues.
  • It was and is, in part, caused by others’ sin.
  • It was and is, in part, caused by my own sin.

I do not believe that the excess weight on my body is actually sinful. However, I do acknowledge the role sin—and this fallen fucking world—has had on my body.

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When the body precedes the soul

 

shittywomen_bodysoul2

There are 1,328 words beyond this point. This blog will take the average adult reader about 5 minutes to read. 

So long as the body precedes the soul, equality cannot exist.

So long as we see people primarily as the bodies they inhabit, rather than the souls that they are, there will never be equality of any kind.

This specific thought, “So long as the body precedes the soul, equality cannot exist.” came about in my head after spending some time over the last few years thinking about how the porn industry feeds misogyny. Porn reduces the actors of it to their bodies—and nothing more. Porn consumers’ actions say to the actors, “Your personhood—your soul—you—do not matter to me, because you are nothing more than a body.”

Continue reading